If you’re new here, HI! If you’re a repeat customer, DOUBLE HI! Now that we’re all acquainted, I want to share something with you. I’m a dog person. That is also an extreme understatement, but I'll let the following story explain...
So it’s December, and we’re moving into our new house. Yay! WEEE!! SO EXCITED. But wait…I hate packing. And moving. And unpacking. So as you can imagine I was just a peach to deal with at the time. Which is probably why I found myself in a truck, full of our crap, driving to Fort Worth, at night, all.by.my.self. (cue Celine Dion, because I know for a fact you just hummed that song to yourself).
Something else you should know about me, besides the dog person thing, is that I require an abnormal amount of “adult” supervision for someone who is technically a grown up. That’s pretty much the main reason I got married. I digress. So I’m driving a truck full of stuff, and have almost successfully made it back to the house without incident or injury…and that’s when I see it.
THE MOST HORRIBLE THING I’VE EVER WITNESSED.
Ya’ll. This guy is walking down the street, and has an adorable little pitbull trotting along behind him. For a split second I assumed this was the man’s dog, until he (and I’m not even a LITTLE bit joking) turns around and roundhouse kicks this dog in the face.
I’m gonna let that shock sink in for a minute.
Seeing red? Because I had murder written all over my face. So, being a “dog person”, I roll down the window and scream at the guy. Turns out I’m a bad ass (just let me) because he ran off. So I pull into the parking lot nearest to the dog and as soon as I get out of the truck he runs up to me. THE sweetest. And since it is cold, I decide I’m gonna bring him home for the night and deal with the consequences of the previously mentioned grown up I live with later. Ask forgiveness, not permission. DUH.
I get homeless dog in the truck, and am about to climb in after him when some moron lays on their horn. This scares the already terrified pup and he jumps out of the truck and runs straight into the intersection.
Yes. I flipped out. Yes. I jumped in the truck and followed him…into a not so nice neighborhood. Sketch would be putting it nicely.
And here goes round 2 of saving this dog. I know, I'm the nicest, right? Remember that...
I park the truck, jump out (leaving the door open) and start walkin in the dog’s direction when I hear this guy laughing. I look up, and he’s standing in the doorway of his lair, cackling. Thinking maybe this is his dog I’m chasing, I ask. He says no. Indignant, I ask what the hell is so funny…and he just gives me one of those head jerks toward somewhere behind me. So, naturally, I turn around…and quickly see what he finds so damn amusing.
My truck? The one with half our belongings in it? Is steadily BACKING ITSELF STRAIGHT INTO THE STREET. I have to sprint, SPRINT to catch it, jump inside and slam on the e-brake to make it stop. Which it does…literally 15 feet shy of hitting the building across the road. Turns out I didn't put it in park, so much as I did reverse.
OH and you’ll love this. The dog? It followed my stupid running ass, so when I slammed on the brake, the door, which was STILL open, nails the him right in the face as it swings closed. So…yeah. He’s not exactly speaking to me.
EPIC. FAIL. Level: I almost wiped out an entire neighborhood.
Moral of the story is I didn’t save the dog, but the ice cream I rewarded myself with for not killing anyone was delish.
Oh right, I’m also an ice cream person. Dogs and ice cream. Just a few of my favorite things.
Always,
L
