Monday, May 6, 2013

It's a public service, really.

Conversations this weekend:


Nate: We forgot to take out the trash. Again.
Me: Oh well. There's always next week. Not a big deal.


Nate: The dogs are almost out of dog food.
Me: Not worried. Toga and I just had Apple Jacks, So we're all set.


Nate: You left the toilet lid open and I caught Lady drinking out of it. Again...
Me: It's really of no consequence to me if the disgusting dog gets more disgusting. Don't care.
Nate: I swear to God, you could literally fill BOOKS with the things you just don't give a sh*t about.
Me: That's a book I'd read.
Nate: *bangs head repeatedly against the counter*

Apparently he's unaware how this marriage thing works?



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Self Indulgent

Who? Me? Guilty. But not in the way that you would think. Or maybe it is, I can't really say since I'm not inside your head. Mine is crazy enough for 6 lifetimes, thankyouverymuch.

So I've been doing this blogging thing religiouslyoccasionally, um. Pretty much whenever the mood strikes me. My track record has been below par at best, but I'm working on it. I have always loved to write, my follow through just sucks. I also over use commas like it is my life calling so I'm sorry about that, too. Except not really.  I started and abandoned HUNDREDS of journals when I was a kid. Seriously. I couldn't ever find my "grove" for lack of a lamer turn of phrase. But blogging is finally a format I feel comfortable enough to come back to again and again. Mostly because I've completely abandoned any shame I may have had in the past. That doesn't mean I put every detail of my life on blast for the world to read, but I'm not afraid to. My goal is brutal honesty in dealing with this being an adult business. How am I doing so far?

Spoiler alert: At some point, I even plan on writing a book. That's kind of where I'm going with all of this nonsense. I've actually started a memoir, and it's just as disturbingly distasteful as my blog. I'm at a point where I've got to decide which lines I'm willing to cross. Stories I'm willing to tell. Relationships I'm ok with exposing, for the good, the bad, the ugly. I'm curious to all you out there who take the time to read this, what kind of things would YOU like to read about? I'm obviously not a jack of all trades. I'd go so far as to say I've really got nothing figured out. But I can tell a kick ass exaggerated story. I've seen some pretty dark days. Really dark, actually. Some past, some present, and surely some down the road I don't even know about yet. I honestly believe they are behind every funny person you meet. Humor, at least mine, comes in turning life on it's head. Saying, "screw you" to circumstances I can't control and making it fun for everyone. My mom has always said, with every situation you have two choices. You can laugh, or you can cry. I think we all know where I stand on that.

So friendships, what things do you enjoy reading? For me, I like learning about life, through humor and sorted advice from other's experiences. Leave me a comment, or shoot me an email and tell me your guilty don't even have to keep it clean. I'm just that kind of girl. Seriously. Spill! By the way, I know there is more than one person in Russia out there stalking my blog! Internet high fives for the 735 page hits you've given me. And bonus zebra points to the blogger dashboard for giving me that golden piece of information. I'm such a creep.



P.S. Don't judge me too hard for thinking I can write a book anyone beside my mom would read. Wednesdays are my day of inflated self importance. Blame the calendar.

P.S.S. This is officially my 100th blog post. Where is my parade, Google?
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