Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Censorship: The NEW Four Letter Word



Time to get back in to the swing of things after an AMAZING vacation. I promise I'll post pictures and details and such soon (read: I'm the world's worst at uploading pics from my camera which could also be read as lazy, but whatev).

For now, I've got something I need to get off of my chest. First things first: I keep this blog for one reason...it's cheaper than therapy. I have the best family and friends any person could ever hope/imagine/pray to Tom Cruise, baby Jesus or Oprah for, but y'all if they had to actually listen to me rant/talk/complain/exaggerate with their ears (as opposed to having the option of reading it here, or not knowing at all, which is there right, because this is America) they would probably have committed me to facility for the mentally unstable. I know they love me, but sometimes I'm a lot to handle, and I have no problem admitting that. I've got too many hamsters in my head and not enough wheels and sometimes this is the only avenue I have of sorting out all the fluff.

Now, that being said, I also have a pretty adult sense of humor/vocabulary. I try to keep myself in check but sometimes four letter words just carry a little more emphasis and as an ADULT I occasionaly take the liberty of using them. Don't get me wrong, I have a filter, and know where and when to crank that puppy up so that nothing but rainbows, butterflys and kittens come out of my mouth. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on which way you look at it) this little bloggity of mine is not a place where I feel I should control myself. If anyone has an issue with that, like I mentioned before, this is America and you know where the big red X is that will take you away from this website. It's not going to hurt my feelings one bit. Promise. I probably should have made a disclaimer tab when I first started this circus, but again with the hamsters and yadda yadda so I'm taking the time now to write one. You're welcome.


**ADVENTURES AND CHATTER TERMS OF USE & DISCLAIMER**

Enter at your own risk. Do not enter. Speed limit - 28.8 or higher. Stop here on red. Void where prohibited by law. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Contents should be considered completely fictional unless otherwise specified. Use only as directed.  Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. May be too intense for some viewers. See other side of the screen for additional information. For entertainment purposes only. Contents may cause irriation, if condition persists, consult your physician...or you know, just STOP READING. Website contains small parts and is not intended for use by children under the age of eighteen. No tresspassing. No stopping or standing. Don't even think about parking here. One size fits all. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised.  Reader assumes full responsibility. If something offends you, lighten up, grow a sense of humor and move on. For our complaints department, please stay on the blog and a representative will be with you when they feel the need. Or you may contact Al Gore directly since he invented the internet machine, so anything on here is obviously his fault. This space (____________) intentionally left blank; fill it in with any offensive or objectible thing not previously or hereafter mentioned in the terms of use and disclaimer. Actual cash value of this website is 1/1000th of a cent. No shoes, no shirt, no service it's time to party. Listen to your mom. Eat your veggies. Wear your seatbelt. Don't take candy from strangers... or strange people... or anyone really. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, ice capes melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the ozone layer leaving, the sun exploding, or any other acts of God. This list was current at the time of printing. Terms are subject to change without notice. All decisions are final! This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.

Ok, so I'm pretty sure that covers everything. If not, know this, I'm not perfect, I'm not pretending to be and my sincere and singular hope is that you find my over exaggerated stories about my hot mess of a life entertaining.

Always,

L

3 comments:

  1. Girl, screw the haters. Well, not literally because that would be awkward.

    I, for one, appreciate your humor and think that you should continue writing the way you want to write because you are hilarious. You're exactly right that no one is making anyone read your blog, so forget 'em.

    Sorry you've had to deal with that!

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  2. Hahahaha thanks so much girl! :)

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  3. I hope that this is Machine Washable and not Dry Clean Only. I really hate the Dry Cleaners.

    ReplyDelete

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