Family Humor

I have a cousin named Shauna who is an incredible author/blogger/all around comedic genius. I'm literally in tear-filled fits of laughter after almost everything she writes. Her website is linked under my "guilty pleasures" tab, and if you haven't already, you should definitely check her out here.

Anyway, a few weeks ago she posted about the book The Four Agreements (read it! It's awesome sauce) and gave her own "version" of each agreement. I've decided they were too good/hysterical not to share. If Don Miguel Ruiz's original agreements help you unwind, refocus, and de-stress, then Shauna's interpretations are the equivalent of adding a stereo laugh track to the background. She makes "untangling" yourself a blast and reminds you to never to take anything in life too seriously.

So for your reading pleasure, here are her not-so-literal translations:

"Sometimes these intellectual types who write these very profound books speak in a language I don’t fully understand. I keep waiting for The Four Agreements For Dummies to come out, but so far it doesn’t exist.


So I’ve decided to simplify The Four Agreements so that you too might be able to untangle yourself. And then when you learn how to do it maybe you can help me?

The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

Translation: Don’t be a dick and talk bad about people. You’re not that great either and it seems like you have nothing going on in your own life so you have to get into other people’s shit. Be nice or get punched in the face. And use big words more often when speaking. It’ll make you appear smarter and maybe we’ll be able to take our focus off that giant zit you got working on your forehead.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Translation: What, you think people give a shit about you and your problems? Well, we don’t. I got junior over here eating crayons and the dude is nearly six years old. My car sucks gas like an Alabama hooker and my cat had a stroke. So don’t be thinking I’m stressing about YOUR problems. Hell, half the time I can’t remember your name. And when I tell you I can’t meet you for lunch it’s not because I don’t like you. It’s because you keep asking me to go to that Chinese buffet and I told you–I don’t like Asian people.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Translation: Always assume I’m thinking how much better my life is than yours. Seriously, I would never want to be you. Your shit’s crazy.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Translation: You see that enormous pile of laundry, carelessly left in the basket on what is it, Day 5 now? Fold that shit and put it away. You think little green magic people are going to sneak in here while you’re sleeping and do it? Life ain’t a box of chocolates, dip shit. It’s hard and it’s tough. I suggest you wear a helmet.

Translation #2: Stop being lazy.

Honestly, if you follow these four simple rules you’re going to rock this place so hard. OK, now go get started. "

So there you have it. If you haven't noticed, my family has basically perfected the art of using humor/sarcasm as a defense mechanism. Or maybe we just have a genetic need to make people laugh...either way, I think we're pretty awesome.

Happy Friday!!!

Always,

L

P.S. To read the complete article or just want more laughs from Shauna, visit her website at www.shaunaglenn.com. Go on. You know you wanna. All the cool kids are doing it!