So, it's no secret that my current career path is super prestigious. I mean, aside from being President of the United States, or CEO of Blue Bell, what I do for a living is of THE utmost importance. So important in fact, that the fates predicted the enormous impact it would have on society before Hercules was even born.
Duh, winning.
Obviously I'm being facetious. Ya'll, I sell TOILETS, ok? The following is a message to every redneck hillbilly in my industry: Calm DOWN...it's just plumbing (I swear I'm making that into a t-shirt). I had a guy today call and literally S-C-R-E-A-M in my ear for 30 minutes about some freakin' shower panels for a jr. high boys locker room. You would have thought
See, to me, that is the best part of this job. I get to build relationships with customers, bend over backwards to make people happy. Out bid the competition and take pride in what I sell...and all of that is double the fun because at the end of the day, no one's life is on the line. Sure, some jr. high boys in middle-of-no-where Texas might smell a little bit ripe if the showers aren't installed, but it ain't like they don't stink already. Just Sayin'.
Oh, and while I'm at it, here's another tip. If you plan on calling me to yell (which, by the way, I don't mind, because your high-pitched-back-woods-accent is comedic GOLD, so please keep it coming) about a part that was supposed to arrive yesterday, please make sure you don't already have it, before you waste both of our time. Below is a conversation I participated in last week. WORD-FOR-WORD.
Me: "This is Lauren, how can I help you?"
Cranky: "I ordered some material last week, was told it was in stock and I should receive it no later than today."
Me: "Ok, so I'm guessing you haven't seen the package yet?"
Cranky: "Obviously NOT or I wouldn't be calling. I needed this stuff yesterday at the latest and now you are going to hold up this entire job site!"
Me: "I'm really sorry for the mix up sir, let me see if I can figure out what is going on."
Cranky: "You better, because I'm about to get real angry and you aren't going to like dealing with me if this don't get fixed"
*Yes, because up until now you have been an absolute PEACH to talk to.*
***INSERT EXTENDED EYE ROLL HERE***
Click, click, click, click, click, tap, tap, tap, tap, enter, enter, backspace
(me frantically typing trying to keep this guy from blowing out my eardrum and yelling till the cows come home...)
click, tap, enter, click, click...tap...tap....
PAUSE
This is the part of the story where I count to ten, and remember that not everyone has a college degree, or common sense for that matter. Inhale. Exhale. Woosah.
PLAY
Me: "Well sir, I've just tracked your package and it looks like it was delivered two days ago, and signed for by 'Ray'."
Suddenly not so Cranky: "Well I'm Ray. Huh, you know what, maybe that's what is in this box that's been sitting in the middle of my floor."
Me: *Banging my head against my desk trying not to swear* Well I'm glad we got that all figured out. Have a wonderful day!"
WELCOME.TO.MY.LIFE.
On a more positive note, check out the awesome cup my uncle brought back from lunch today.
Can you say advertising genius?!? Nice job Fuzzy's Taco Shop. Hahahahaha love it!
Always,
L
I heard all about those phone calls for 2 years...the world knew the two of you were ready for a career swap. Besides, toilet selling is in your blood, you can't deny it;)
ReplyDeletePS: I work in a junior high and the only thing you will find in a locker room shower is dust bunnies and spiders. No one has showered at school since the mid-80s, so even though there is probably a building code that says they have to be there, a hose would suffice since they are only used if someone falls in mud before first period.
This made me LOL. Some people just aren't very bright.
ReplyDelete